Catch up...New Treatment

Hi there,
It's been far too long so we'll see where this goes, may need to break up my update into several posts.  I began my new treatment last wednesday with Taxol.  With my spirits in the right place, I was hoping for the best, but Taxol kicked my bootie and I was bed ridden until Saturday.  This new drug has much different side effects than what I was used to with the AC and I think being as pregnant as I am, really takes a toll on my ability to rebound.  I was lethargic and achy from my head to my toes and nothing could ease the pain or provide relief.  Literally staying in bed was all I could do.  Thank goodness for my husband who waited on me hand and foot because I was worthless.  With it being my first treatment, I think a little panic struck because I didn't know how long it was going to last.  I started feeling more like myself by Sunday, and by Monday and Tuesday I was feeling stronger and stronger.  Thank heavens I felt better by Sunday so I could enjoy some much needed family time.  My loving Aunts threw me my family baby shower.  It was so nice to spend time with family, share stories, and get tips as I embark on mommyhood from the women who know best and helped shape me into the person I am today. Thank you to all Aunts, Cousins, Grama and of course my mom for celebrating Lansing's arrival.  I'll never forget Sunday and appreciate all the efforts you put into making the day so beautiful and fun.  A special thank you to little Reese who helped me open all my gifts, I couldn't have done it without you!

Only 23 days until Lansing arrives and boy am I feeling the pressure both methaphorically and physically.  You should see my hands and feet these days, they look like something out of a cartoon.  I'm lucky it's summer because I'd be wearing flip flops even if it was 20 below because nothing else will fit.  The only "thin" body part that remained is no longer. ;0)  On the bright side of growing beyond what I thought physically possible, my boy at 34 weeks weighs in at a whopping 5lbs 14ozs and according to the lady who did the ultrasound, Lansing already has a full head of hair!  I can't wait to meet my boy and this hair she speaks of!  My mom has her bets that he's a blonde, I'm hoping for a redhead like my baby brother, but Robert and I think he'll be a burnette.  What do you think?

Finally, there have been some beautifully written posts documenting the baby shower thrown in mine and Lansing's honor by my best friend that include some awesome DIY projects.  Check out  http://www.pnpflowersinc.com/2012/06/inspire-real-party-baby-shower-hosted.html and http://mirabellecreations.blogspot.com/2012/06/real-parties-poignant-pinwheel-baby.html

I'm off to get my second treatment of Taxol today.  I'm going to really try to make a good effort to document what I'm going through so that I can recall this experience.  The good news is, it's my last treatment until Lansing arrives so even if it's rough recovery, I'll get a couple weeks to myself before I embark on the final 10 weeks of the dreaded Taxol.  Wish me luck! 

Peace & Love,
Misty

Baby Shower with my Girlfriends

Hi Friends,
I've added pictures of my first baby shower!  It was such a beautiful day and a huge boost to my excitement for becoming a mommy. 

Rejuvenated is the first thought that comes to mind. I had a really tough couple days following my last treatment and could not have asked for a better way to turn things around. My best friend Leslie invited my best friends in the world and together we laughed, ate tons of yummy food, and I was spoiled with the most adorable, thoughtful gifts. I haven't been this excited about being a mommy until now. Today made it all so real to me. I have been reminded time and time again of this amazing support system I have, but to have the ladies help me prepare for my baby boy just gives me a confidence I didn't realize I was lacking and longing for. I cannot wait to share pictures of the beautiful decorations (that I'm lucky enough to get to put in Lansing's nursery), the beautiful ladies and the wonderful gifts!

The Hostess with the Mostess!

Leslie, you have been my rock since I was 13. Thank you for giving me this day and for making it so happy and amazing! I had so much fun! I loved getting to spend real girl time with you and all my favorite people. I really don't have the words to tell you how thankful I am. The food was delicious and very Misty-esque:-) I LOVED everything!
I will have much more to share as soon as I have the pictures. I want to hug each of you all over again just so you don't forget how much I adore you!! Thank you for bringing so much love and light into my life!
Soooo full of love and gratitude,
Misty

Baby Bump

The Ladies :o)

Bridget and me

Welcome to the World Lansing!  This book has cards from each of my friends telling Lansing a special something they wanted to share with him.  This book is something I'll cherish forever.

Kelli, Tosh, Shannon, Me, Amy, Preston (keeping the ladies in line)

Party Favors

Yummy Spread

Round IV

Hi there,
Keeping up with my treatment plan, here's my latest update. Yesterday was my final treatment for the "AC."  I had 4 rounds every three weeks since my diagnosis.  My final PICC line!  I had removed early, because it was really painful this time.  They weren't able to use the same vessel that was used the last three times, so they used a smaller vessel and it was not pleasant.  I couldn't move my arm the day I got it, but now that's it's removed, I'm doing much better.  This last treatment has been a lot harder on me.  I'm not violently ill or anything just feel like I've been hit by a truck and really moody and groggy.  I guess this is what I should expect since I'm getting more pregnant along with the chemo building up in my system.  For someone that has zero patience, this is a true test for me.  I'm getting more antsy and trying to knock the nerves of becoming a mommy and trying to understand that I have a long road ahead of me with my treatment is wearing on me.  I have many things to look forward to, so I'm trying to be positive and focus on those pleasantries, but I'll admit it's not always easy.  Please remember that I write this blog as my personal diary to remember my experience.  I'm willing to share this with those who read it as a window into the life of someone dealing with real issues that aren't too common for most, but could help just one person.  With that said, I'm going to share a story of a situation I experienced yesterday that was unpleasant and has been weighing on me. By no means, am I sharing to get sympathy from the world, just expressing myself to get relief that I have dealt with it...yesterday while waiting in the waiting room to receive my final "AC" treatment which is a pretty big milestone for me (a good milestone), my mom and I are just chit chatting about whatever passing the time while we wait.  This woman in the waiting room whom I've seen before interrupted us and asked how old I was because she observed I looked fairly young.  I told her I was 30.  She proceeded to ask if I had "it" in my breast, to which I responded yes and she asked what was feeding it, meaning what hormone, if any, to which I answered I'm triple negative so we don't know what's feeding the cancer.  She then explained that she too had triple negative breast cancer had been diagnosed the first time at 34, was now 38 and is receiving chemo and radiation for the 4th time to treat the same cancer that has returned FOUR flipping times now.  I just about bust out crying right then and there.  Here I'm thinking I'm done with phase one in just a couple of hours and then all of sudden my mind is swimming with this horrific thought that THIS could be my life over and over again.....it takes a lot to get in my head to where I cannot shake something, but this was the wrong time and place.  I could tell my mom wanted to physically close the woman's mouth from talking so we didn't hear anymore of what she had to say, I on the other hand kept with the questions.  To be honest, I have no idea what she had to say after a certain point, but I have been in a state of shock since.  I will end this story with saying that I'm allowing myself a day for self pity and then I'll get back to reality, MY REALITY, which is my treatment plan is going to work and I'm going to be fine. I just have to think that for some reason I was supposed to hear what this woman had to say, why else would that conversation take place?  Anyway, feeling like crap today isn't helping me much, but this too shall pass.  Anyway, back to my future steps to getting better....I'll have two weeks to get my blood counts back up and then start my new cocktail called Taxol of which I'll have a total of 12 treatments on a weekly basis.  By having the weekly treatments, I'll be able to take it in much smaller dosages with hopes to keep my blood counts from plummeting and hopefully they won't be so hard on my system overall. The greatest part to the Taxol, no more PICC lines.  In prep for the baby's arrival, I'll have just 2 treatments of Taxol on a weekly basis and then I'll begin my 4 week "rest" period and deliver baby Lansing.  I really can't believe how close we are to having our little miracle here in our arms.  I'm ready to have him here with us to give us laughter and light.  On the other hand, I freak out that I am so unprepared with all the baby "stuff" that we still need and learn how to use, etc.  It's something that I'm sure all first time parents think about, it's just funny that it's now our turn.  Thank heavens for my first baby shower this weekend.  It's with my closest girlfriends and I definitely need the time with girls to get my spirits up and feel like my old self. 
Peace & Love,
Misty

Memorial Day Weekend

Happy Friday!

Pups watching TV

I'm sitting here with my pups and so envious of the many posts on Facebook of friends slowly arriving to Cumberland Lake....awwwww what I would do to be there. It's the first time since I can remember that this weekend doesn't mean too much to me because we can't participate in the festivities that this weekend usually means for us.  We actually don't have any plans, so strange.  Planning for our pregnancy was critical to allow for me to have at least a smidget of summer sans pregnancy so I could enjoy my very favorite past time, boating.  Of course this was back in the day when we thought we had a little more control over our lives.  Please friends, continue to post all your beautiful pictures of the lake so I can live vicariously through you! :0)  I know it won't be long until I can participate again, but it stinks not being able to go.  This feels much the same as missing out on Keeneland...trust me, I know my favorite things but I don't realize just how much I love my favorite things to do until some things in my life were placed on hold.  My new mantra: Just think how sweet it will be when I get to push "play" again and start the ride all over. 

Thank you to so many of you who checked out my post about the Benefit. I've added more pictures to that post and would like to recommend that you take a minute to read my best friend's blog.  Leslie has shared her personal experience of the Benefit via her posted.  I think it's so neat to get a feel of the event through her perspective...go to www.jarofvintagebuttons.blogspot.com and let me know what you think!

On Wednesday evening, my mom, Robert and I all worked to get the nursery more established.  Let's be honest, I watched my mom and Robert work on putting furniture together and we still haven't finished.  I'm thinking this is probably what Robert and I will be spending most of the weekend doing. Our little monkey is going to be here in less than 8 weeks at this point which is unbelievable and so exciting to me!  By setting up the nursery, there's been a lot of rearranging going on in the Porter household, but all in all, it's looking good.  I can tell I'm in the nesting mode.  Wish I had more strength and energy to actually get things done myself, but instead I have to supervise.  Thank you Robert and Mom for all your help (Dad, I'll go ahead and thank you because we need your help now that you're back in town).  Once the nursery is looking like a nursery, I'll definitely post pictures!

Have a great weekend everyone!  Enjoy the beautiful sunshine & 3 day weekend!

Peace & Love,
Misty

Friendship & Gratitude

Robert and I at our Benefit

The Ladies & I at the Benefit

Last night was such a beautiful evening...I honestly don't know where to begin.  I get a little weepy sitting here trying to find the words to express our gratitude for the love and support we felt yesterday from so many friends and family members.  I know without a shadow of doubt that I am loved and have so many reasons to be positive and continue to hold my head high and fight this battle.  To know I have so much love from all of you makes this process easier somehow.  Thank you to every single person who came to support us and our cause. Your presence meant so much to Robert and I and our families.  Thank you for the overflowing response to the incredible raffle items donated by so many wonderful local companies and vendors.  Thank you to my family, my wonderful family, to come and support us. Thank you to my co-workers for all your support, it's incredible to be able to say I have a second family at work, not many people have the luxury and are able to say that, I am very thankful that I do. On top of everyone supporting us, it was great getting to see and talk with so many of you!  I was able to see people I haven't seen in many years.  Some of you traveling from afar, thank you for making the trek and coming to see us.  I only made it until just before 8pm, I'm so sorry for those that I didn't get to see and catch up with but appreciate you very much.

Last but certainly never least...The Angels Responsible for Everything:
I have been blessed with such an exceptional group of friends, I love each of them so much I sometimes feel I could suffocate them with my love. To see what transpired from their love and devotion to me and my cause is something I could only dream about. These Angels pictured below are the reason for such a magnificent event and for my sanity.  Thank you so much for loving me unconditionally and supporting me through thick and thin...thank you for being who YOU are and for making something that is so ugly and unpleasant, so beautiful.  I love you girls so much.
 Left to Right: Jessica Salyers, Kelli Fohl, Jennifer Edwards, Amy Davis, Jill Salyers, Emily Wolfzorn, Brooke King, Leslie Marshall, Christi Riegler (not pictured: Natasha LaGesse, Molly Gosnell, Shannon Appelman, Melissa Rechtin, Nate Salyers).

To sum it all up....the benefit was such a GREAT time!  I will remember yesterday evening as one of the most positive and beautiful moments of my journey with stupid cancer.  I'll never forget the love I felt/feel from everyone.  I think for the rest of my life I'll be trying to come up with a way to thank every single person that made yesterday possible, until I figure that out....please know that I am talking about YOU and you personally have helped me get through this process by your encouraging words, hugs, laughter.  For all of you that were with us in spirit, thank you so much for thinking of us.

Here are some snapshots of the three raffle tables...thank you so much for the amazing raffle prizes that were ever so graciously donated by local companies, family and friends.  The evening would not have been possible without you!

A special thank you to the wonderful Blinkers Tavern for allowing us to hold our event at your location.  The establishment is beautiful and so inviting and we couldn't have picked a better venue.  
Forever grateful,
Misty

Tonights the night

It's finally here, the much anticipated Benefit that my dearest friends worked so hard to put together for Robert and I.  I do not know many details (this was on purpose so that I had nothing to worry about), but I do know that so many people were ever so generous and thoughtful donating such wonderful goodies for the raffle giveaways, monetary donations, and physically showing up to support all of us.

To be the honorary person tonight is something that is very daunting...never do you think something like this will have to happen, but the fact that is it, is such an enlightening experience.  Thank you for supporting us, loving us, being a part of this journey.  We could never do this alone and having such a wonderful support system and such devoted friends is something we'll always cherish.  We love you so much....can't wait to see everyone! 

Peace & Love,
Misty

For my Mom

Hi Mom,
Happy Mother's Day!  I wanted to take a minute and say a couple words to let you know how much you mean to me.  We've always been best friends, you're the first person I call about EVERYTHING no matter how big or small the news may be! I swear you have ESP when it comes to me and will call right as I'm dialing your number.  You always know exactly what it is I need by providing advice to help me to fix an unsettling issue or to just listen to me as I sort through my thoughts.  As we embark on this double journey, you continue to amaze me with your unconditional support.  I knew at such a young age that I was always safe with you and this is still true today.  Throughout the ups and downs of this journey we are on, you help me to see the light in the dark, remind me of what is truly important, and to stop and take care of myself.  You raised me to be a strong, caring, independent woman but to also know you can't survive this world alone and to know when you need the love and support from others.  I try to achieve this balance daily, and have been working to fine tune these qualities over the past couple of months.  I'm really scared with what the next couple of months are going to bring.  To be a first time mom is scary enough, but to bring a baby in the world while dealing with weekly treatments is going to be something that I never dreamt would be a part of my life or something I'd have to deal with.  But knowing that I have you, I know we'll get through it.  Thank you for being by my side through all the doctor appointments, chemo treatments, and for encouraging me when I feel less of a person.  You are my hero and I will always be inspired by the woman you are and strive to be as much like you as possible.  You taught me to see the good in everything and everyone.  I hope to continue to make you proud and to become a mother to Lansing as you have been to me over the last 30 years.

All my love,
Misty