Tuesday, April 3, 2012

Day at the zoo

Today was an interesting day...I started off the day by going to the zoo with my girlfriend Kelli and her two adorable babies. The weather was beautiful, I was in good spirits and felt good, and little Kaidon (Kelli's daughter) was so excited to see the monkeys and zebras! After being at the zoo for about 2 hours, I was talking with Kelli and realized the words coming out of my mouth were nonsensical. I was confused because my thoughts seemed normal but I couldn't find the correct words to put a sentence together. Kelli sat me down in the shade, got me water, and tried to help me make sense of what was going on. I do have a history of migraines, have had instances where my speech was impaired but I couldn't articulate this to Kelli at the time. Once I got my bearings we left the zoo. Kelli encouraged me to call my oncologist so I did, wasn't sure if it was a side effect of the chemo. The nurse acted like she didn't know what would be causing the irregular thoughts/speech (and I forgot to mention my right arm went numb) and she told me to call my OB. Frustrated, I tried to convince Kelli to just take me home and I'd sleep it off, but at this point my vision started to go and I wasn't able to recognize familiar things, people, concepts that she was trying to talk to me about. She was fed up and called Robert and the next thing I know I'm at St. Elizabeth hospital. After bloodwork, EEG, and CAT scan it was determined to be just one of my "complex migraines." After the speech and vision issues lapsed, my left side of my forehead began to ache. The doctor was awesome and so nice, he helped me understand it's probably just caused by over doing it when my body is going through so much as it is. He explained that the speech issues, right arm numbness would make sense if a vessel in the left side of my head was strained or whatever the case may be. He also explained that my complaints were textbook so I could at least feel relieved that we knew what was happening, just don't know why exactly. So I just have to report any other weird instances if they occur and I already had appointments setup for tomorrow to get my blood count checked at the oncologist and meet with my OB. I keep thinking every bit of this experience is happening for a reason, so my lesson out of this is to make it my goal to find out who is my "home base" physician so when something comes up like this, whether it's a side effect from chemo or not, the issue is still addressed immediately and I'm not shrugged off to another doctor. I'm so grateful that I have such a wonderful support system with my friends and family. I had to have been so difficult to deal with and Kelli didn't flinch and took such good care of me all the while having her two babies with us! Thank you Kel, I love you! Thank you to Robert and my parents for rushing to be by my side! I have to admit I was terrified, and I was even more afraid when I couldn't express that I was terrified. I will do two things going forward even though I hate to: one, I will learn to speak up for myself to the doctors even though I struggle to do so, and two, I'll really take it easy. I HATE feeling sick. I want to throw a temper tantrum and scream it's not fair, but what good is that for anyone? I think my stage of denial is coming to an end and I'm being forced to face the music. I don't know how to prepare myself for this. Deep breathes.

Thank you grama & grampa, Nancy and Jan & Gene for the beautiful cards. All were so uplifting:-) I'm going to do a better job acknowledging everyone's support and help. My apologies if I haven't thanked you personally yet, but I do read every single message, card, etc. and every single one of them mean the world to me. I'll be in touch slowly but surely! Kristy L. your message was so touching and sweet, thank you so much! Kelli thank you so much for dinner, it was delicious!
Peace & Love,
Misty

9 comments:

  1. I'm so glad that you are doing this!! I have never followed a blog so I wasn't exactly sure how this works at first lol but it is a great idea!! You are so strong and beautiful!! It is so admirable for you to educate/heal others while you heal yourself!!

    Love you tons!! Know of course I am always here for you!! :)

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  2. I am glad you are doing better today. I wanted to mention this earlier, but figured you had enough on your plate. When i was doing chemo I was sicker than a dog. I kept telling the Chemo doc and one time he laughed and said yes that happens. At first i took his answer but soon I realized I needed to ask again. So everyweek when one sick med didnt work i made them try something else. These Doctors see this everyday. Not that they arent good doctors and people. Its just their jobs. So I hate you had to learn this, but I am glad you are going to take charge. If something isnt right or not working, keep asking until its fixed. Hope this helps.

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    1. Thank you for the advice Julie! It's difficult for me to confront uncomfortable situations when I know I'll have to deal with them long term, but it's time I'm a grown up and take care of business, tactfully;o)

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  3. Misty - you truly are a beautiful soul. There are not enough words to describe how amazing you are! I am here for u along with so many other people and I mean it when I say I'm going to show up unannounced one of these days and give u a big hug and catch up. I have my ways ;) love u hand twin

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    1. Kristy!!! My long lost friend, how are you?? I think the last time we really got to hang out was during your baby shower fir your first born!!! Loved hearing from you and appreciate your support very much! We'll have to get together with Les and catch up! XOXO

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  4. Yes!! Which means its been way too long considering my first born is now 9 lol and absolutely we all def need to get together very soon :). I live in Hebron so we are all relatively close ... Yay!!

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  5. I've also been reading every update. Thank you so much Misty. Sometimes through the week, silly old work keeps me extremely occupied, but you are never out of my thoughts.
    Julie is right, sometimes you have to ask more then once and escalate if you need to! I know I tell myself with every escalation I receive, this is not someone that does this all day every day and approach it from there, but it's easy enough to fall back to not listening all the way. Even Dr's offices have a chain of command.

    I'm super happy the ER doc explained things to you and calmed you.

    Love you so much!

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  6. Misty, Im so sorry you had to go through this. I had a similar kind of migraine once when Ian was a baby....it was just likeyou describe with thinking clearly but not being able to talk, communicate...very scary. You are learning as you go to take it slow (its only temporary....while you are supporting your son and healing). Also, you are right in that you have to speak up whenever and however you need to ask or know something. Just like in business, its not personal. Sounds crazy to say that because it IS because its your health. But what Imean is they may seem impersonal, clinical, condescending...but really they are like scientists whose minds are fixed at a different place than most people. They are researching, medicating, administering, monitoring, being responsible for everything. BUT if you need to ask something 10+ times, do it and ignore the reactions, etc...just like in businness ;) Love ya Misty...

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  7. Hey girlie so glad you are feeling better. I hope your doctor appointments went well. As you already know I like you also hate confrontation and uncomfortable situations that follow them. There are two things I have done in last year with all my specialists that have helped with those things. 1) If I have questions that I really want answers to but am afraid I will forget or be to uncomfortable to ask I write them down ahead of time that way in the heat of the moment I don't forget or wuss out. 2) If I have any new symptoms come up between appointments that don't need immediate attention I record them in journal/diary that is an app on my phone that way I always have it with me and I'm not carry around and trying to keep track one more thing.
    If you need anything at all let me know. Hang in there girl!! You are strong and amazing women. :) Love ya, Beth

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Hi Friends, thank you so much for taking the time to leave a comment...I read each and every one of them and they mean so much to me. Have a fabulous day!! XO, Misty